Dear Zoomy,

Last week I was flying home after a long week of intense meetings . Believe it or not I was looking forward to a quiet flight home . I was seated in my window seat that I had reserved well in advance – put on my eye mask, my cancellation headphones and was about to fade away. All of a sudden, the stewardess asked me if I would switch to a middle seat so that a mother and her two kids could sit together.

Gotta tell you – under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t be thrilled; but I might have been too embarrassed to not agree. In this case, I had my seat. I was perfectly comfortable and beyond exhausted. I overheard “the mom” saying she just booked today and hoped for the best. I actually refused, but I got stares – was made to feel guilty . Why, are we not allowed to say just this one time: “No, I can’t. I just can’t.”

Signed ,

Unfairly stared at,


Dear Unfairly,

Of course you can always say, “No.” Each situation deserves individual thought. Let me ask you something, Did any of the staring people offer up their seats?

We live in a world where paying it forward and being considerate is valued. I hope that I can count myself as one of those people who might have volunteered my seat, to facilitate a family being seated together. But (a huge “but”) – There are circumstances where we must put ourselves first. It is not evil to protect oneself. If you don’t respect the needs of thyself, how do you propose respecting the needs of another? On top of that, We should also be one whom reserves judgement when observing such a situation.

Personally, I feel worse if I’ve been judge-y versus a wee bit selfish.

The fact that you felt bad shows that you’re probably a good person with pure intentions.

Hopefully next time a situation as such presents itself, you’ll have the ability to portray that “good guy” you seem to admire.


Have a great week.

See you next Tuesday,